The Mental Load: Why Flexibility at Work Isn’t a Perk, It’s a Necessity
Dentist appointments. Doctor check-ups. A kid gets sick. Both kids get sick. When was their last vaccination? Pediatrician visit. Yard work. House chores. House maintenance. Booking the car for maintenance. Gas. Dog walks. Did we run out of dog food? Ugh, we did. Vet appointment. Plan vacation. Schedule the vacation. Buy things for the vacation. Pack for vacation. Exchange money for vacation. Oh no – passports are expired. Find a camp before they all fill up. What’s the theme for spirit week again? Is today pajama day or inside-out day? Kid of the week? What is that anyway? Wait—pizza day! Did I order it? Make lunches. Do we have fruit? Do we have snacks? PA Day. PD Day. Kids don’t want to go to school. Problems at school. Kids’ activities. Playdates. After-school care. Drive to and from activity. Juggle multiple activities on the same day. Grocery shop… where does all the food go? Meal planning—what’s for dinner? Every. Single. Night. What are the food preferences for this week? One hates cheese, one hates sauce, neither likes anything I make. Bills, did I pay them? Have I budgeted correctly? Wait, I have how many sports to pay for? Laundry—so, so much laundry. Do the laundry, fold the laundry… eventually put the laundry away. Dishes. Cleaning. Hunting for anything needed to get out the door. Why are shoes so good at hiding? Getting kids out the door… Trying not to yell at kids while getting them out the door. The keeper of all things that are lost. The spotter of all things “missing” in the fridge. Birthday gifts. Birthday parties. Loot bags. Christmas shopping. Teacher gifts. Order more snacks because they eat like professional athletes. Buy new clothes because they grow like weeds. Board meeting. Volunteer. And at some point, maybe prioritize my own health? A workout? Not likely.
And on top of all this, a full-time job that I love, and that gives me so much satisfaction.
Understanding the mental load
If you’re reading this and nodding along, you too are carrying what’s being coined “The mental load.” It’s the invisible, cognitive work involved in managing a household and relationships: the weight on your mind that keeps the household running, the kids or pets alive, and everyone’s schedules aligned like some sort of domestic logistics mastermind. Except, unlike a logistics guru, you don’t have a team of coordinators, and you aren’t getting paid for it. You can pay for support, but this is not realistic for most, especially in this economy.
The mental load is not just about the tasks themselves; it’s about being the one who keeps track of them all. Yes, we can assign work from the list, but that isn’t the issue. It’s the constant, never-ending mental checklist that runs in the background like a browser with a million tabs open. And those tabs never close. In fact, often the little spinning wheel appears! It. Is. Exhausting. And usually, the list is most active when you’re meant to be sleeping.
Managing workloads
We talk a lot about work-related burnout, but we don’t talk enough about personal life burnout, and the overlap. Work burnout became a major conversation during the pandemic. It brought attention to how we recognize, prevent, and respond to it. That conversation continues today. Mental health in every facet of life should be a priority. More than ever, people are reevaluating their purpose, values, and alignment with the work they do. But it wasn’t until I felt my own personal life burnout that I started to think more deeply about this concept of the mental load and the importance of work-life balance in maintaining both physical and mental well-being.
The symptoms are:
- Constant tiredness, even with rest
- Feeling emotionally tapped out but unable to delegate
- Resentment toward family or partner due to imbalance
- Irritability or snapping over minor things
- Loss of enjoyment in personal time because it just doesn’t feel like a break.
Everyone has a life and priorities outside of work. The cognitive and emotional effort required to keep things running, whether it’s parenting, caregiving, managing a household, or simply being a human, can be draining.
What can we do about the mental load and personal life burnout?
- Redistribute tasks. Don’t just delegate but share responsibility.
- Make the mental load visible: shared calendars, task boards and check-ins.
- Rest doesn’t mean productivity: prioritize restorative, guilt-free downtime.
- Therapy and/or coaching to explore boundaries, resentment and identity loss.
- Partner conversations: realign expectations and roles.
- Sunday family meetings: who must do what and be where that week.
What does Aercoustics do that lightens the load?
Aercoustics has built a work culture that embraces the importance of work-life balance and understands that people have lives beyond the office. We offer unlimited personal time off. We have flexible hours that allow for school or dog drop-offs. We have Meeting-Free Fridays. We prioritize mental health with strong benefits and, most importantly, we’ve built a culture of support and openness. I feel lucky and fortunate to have that at work.
The mental load is not just a series of tasks, it’s a relentless, invisible cognitive strain that affects all those balancing full lives outside of work. Flexibility in the workplace isn’t a nice-to-have benefit; it’s a strategic imperative rooted in the importance of work-life balance.
Organizations that acknowledge and actively support employees’ mental load aren’t just being compassionate, they’re building resilient, high-performing teams. By creating space for flexibility, and offering meaningful benefits that support mental well-being, leaders send a clear message: we value you! The more valued you feel, the more loyal and high performing your team will be.
The future of work demands that we stop viewing personal life stress as separate from professional performance. Flexibility is no longer a perk. Recognizing the importance of work-life balance is how we retain top talent, promote equity, and lead with empathy.
