Whole Life, One Self: Redefining What It Means to ‘Wear Many Hats’ as a Woman
Picture this: it’s a regular Tuesday morning. The alarm goes off and before your feet hit the floor, the mom hat is on – getting the kids up, packing lunches, solving small morning meltdowns. In the middle of it, your partner walks in, and you shift gears—partner hat on—trying to connect, ask how they slept, maybe share a moment. But then the dog is whining, and suddenly you’re dog mom, finding the leash and refilling the water bowl. It’s not even 9AM, and you’ve cycled through half a dozen roles before you’ve even started your workday as an engineer or manager.
Wearing many hats as a woman is a reality and sometimes, a heavy one. But what if we didn’t have to compartmentalize so much? What if instead of switching hats, we just wore one, our own, and brought our full selves into every space we enter?
In honour of International Women in Engineering Day, I wanted to share what it’s looked like for me to navigate this idea of integrity across the roles I play. I believe that by embracing who we are fully and unapologetically, we can build stronger teams, deeper relationships, and more meaningful work.
Early Influences That Still Show Up Today
If we’re going to consider our whole selves, it’s important to look back on the younger years. The sports teams, the clubs, the music lessons, the art class, and everything in between. All of these opportunities involved working with others, leading and learning, navigating relationships, and building essential emotional intelligence skills.
For me this looked like being in the band, the vocal ensemble at school, planning events at church, running track, or being a camp counsellor. Looking back, it’s clear how much those experiences shaped me for how I show up today. The empathy, communication, and leadership I developed in those settings are the same ones I rely on every day as an engineer and manager. Those early influences didn’t just prepare me for a career. They continue to show up in how I lead, solve problems, and build relationships across every part of my life.
Holding My Ground in Engineering School
When I entered engineering school, I quickly realized it was not going to be easy (for many reasons). One of them being, women in engineering made up only a small portion of my program, and I was often one of just a handful in lecture halls filled with men.
The “template” for what an engineer should look like, sound like, drink like, and act like, has largely been based on how men show up in this role; for many women, the pressure to be taken seriously in a male-dominated field can lead to changing who they are. It can feel like there are only two options:
- Change how you speak, act, dress, etc. to be seen as credible
- Don’t change but shrink back and settle for what comes your way.
For me, the temptation would have been to lean into the second option. And truthfully, at times, I did. I would feel frustrated that my male classmates would be publicly praised more often because they spoke up, and out, louder than me, or faster than me. That wasn’t my style though – I could arrive at the same answer but in a different way. I had to learn to be confident in my approach and my presentation style, and decided early on that I didn’t need to change to be taken seriously – I was going to stay unapologetically myself, even if it meant being underestimated sometimes. It was an early but powerful moment in wearing many hats as a woman, and still choosing to wear your own.
Bringing My Whole Self to Every Role
Showing up with integrity has been a guiding principle for me throughout my career as a woman in engineering and in life. It would be easy to compartmentalize. To act one way at work, another at home, and yet another while mentoring people in my church or hanging out with friends. But I’ve found that bringing my entire self into each space I occupy makes me more effective and grounded. I’ve traded in “wearing different hats as a woman” for one “hat”.
At home, my engineering mindset comes in handy in ways you might not expect. Problem-solving is second nature when managing a household. Whether it’s streamlining morning routines or breaking down a complex issue with my kid, the same logical thinking and creativity I use on projects at work make life smoother at home.
At work, I lean heavily on soft skills fostered in my personal life as a mom, wife, mentor, musician, sister, and friend. The ability to make people feel seen and heard has been a game-changer in my engineering and leadership roles. When your colleagues feel valued, they’re more motivated, and work gets done faster and more effectively. I’ve also learned that treating teammates as whole people, with lives beyond the office, is key to fostering a collaborative, positive work environment. We’re all so much more than our work, but who we are can make work so much better if we create space for it.
Each area of my life enriches the others; I see my variety of experiences as strengths that enhance my ability to lead, connect, and grow across every setting I’m in.
Why This Matters
For me, showing up with integrity isn’t just about thriving individually or a personal moral value. It’s about modeling something important for the next generation. I want my kids to see that you can succeed by staying true to who you are. I want them to understand that they never have to change themselves to fit into a mold or silo their experiences based on the “role” they’re in that day.
This is especially important for women in engineering and other male-dominated fields like engineering. When we show up as our whole selves, with integrity, we help create more diverse, inclusive workplaces where everyone is valued for who they are—not how well they conform.
Integrity & Authenticity at Work
Currently, I’m co-leading the transit team at Aercoustics, where I focus on optimizing collaboration across engineers, developers, technicians, and support staff. It’s a role that combines strategic thinking with people-focused leadership—recognizing individual strengths, supporting growth, and ensuring the right people are in the right roles. I also love planning team events that bring people together beyond work, building community and making everyone feel valued. Whether it’s managing large-scale projects or mentoring team members, I lead with empathy, organization, and a focus on creating space for others to thrive.
This approach ties closely to my belief that we don’t need to compartmentalize who we are. The same empathy, organization, and care I bring to my family life shows up in how I lead at work. I don’t switch hats between being a mom, a mentor, or a project lead. I bring my full self into each space, knowing that authenticity and connection are what truly drive strong teams and meaningful impact.
The Power of Showing Up Whole
My journey as a woman in engineering—and as a person—has taught me that we’re at our best when we stop dividing our lives into separate boxes and start recognizing the value of our whole selves. Every role we play draws from the same well of experience, strength, and perspective.
Whether you’re at work, at home, or anywhere in between, life shouldn’t require hats to be put on and taken off. Every experience is part of who we are. And in a world where wearing many hats as a woman is often expected, I’ve learned that the most powerful thing I can do is wear just one hat – my own.
